May 2nd was my 25th birthday and it should have been a happy day. However I realized that one thing was missing.... a call from my best friend. She never forgot to cal and say "happy Birthday" and not just cuz her dad shares it as his b-day also :) she was very thoughtful... anyways that day was a nice sunny day warm and somehow magical. I looked up at the sun for a long time and I realized it was amber reflecting on me and still trying to bighten my day. I believe when I look up I can see he smiling down at me and telling me not to be sad. I want so much to be strong for her, but it is just so hard. I spend many sleepless nights just remembering all the chapters of our lives. I do feel a song in my heart that knowing when my times she'll be wating at the gates of heaven to take me in her arms. AMBER is, was, and always will be a wonderful woman and no one could ever take her place. Whem Erik grows up I know he will be all that she was and more. He has been blessed with 2 wonderful parents. I will love and miss her for the rest of my life.