I need it to be known to any and all that while my last post was indeed written during a time of frustration and even anger, it was not written in response to any post. It definitely was not directed to anyone on here. Cynthia, I did not mean you. What you wrote was nice and yes, encouraging. I commend you for your effort. I commend anyone who is willing to write something on here. Thank you so much to all who still take the time out of their day to visit this site and read or post stories. It doesn't matter how long you've known Amber wether it be a month, 5 years, or a lifetime. She had the ability to change a person's life in just a moment. I count myself lucky to have had the joy of knowing her my entire life. It is just so hard to not have her here to lean on or cry on her shoulder. Some days are a little easier than others but the bad days never get "less bad". Maybe someday soon I won't cry as hard or feel so helpless. I will never go on without her. I carry her with me and in me everywhere I go and in everything I do. I'm trying not to be so angry anymore. I don't even know who I am really angry at. Frankly, it changes from day to day. But in the mean time it is nice to be able to come here and see that there are others who feel like I do. Thanks.